Independent
The verdict is not for sale.
Companies cannot pay for positive coverage. If something is bad, confusing, or a waste of cash, I say so.
The human behind the verdicts
Tony Simons.
Tech reviewer. AI tool stress tester. Occasional frozen-pizza investigator.
I built Tony Reviews Things for people who want the useful truth before they spend their money or time. No corporate varnish, no paid fake positivity, and no pretending every product is amazing.
The point of this place
I am not trying to be the biggest tech outlet. I am trying to be the one you trust when a product looks great in the ad and you need to know what living with it is actually like.
Hands-on
Real testing beats spec sheets.
Laptops, AI tools, creator gear, and frozen pizza all get used in the real world, where friction and weird failures show up.
Reader first
Your wallet matters.
The goal is a smarter decision, not another click. A useful no is worth more than an enthusiastic maybe.
The long route here
- BornMaryland
- Grew upFlorida
- WanderedWisconsin
- Iowa since 2005Des Moines
- Home since 2023Ames, Iowa
Origin story
A regular person with an unreasonable curiosity about how things work.
I was born in Maryland, grew up in Florida, spent time in the woods of Wisconsin, and moved to Iowa in 2005. I lived in Des Moines until 2023, when Ames became home. That winding route probably explains why the things I review refuse to stay in one tidy category.
I have a regular day job and build this site on nights and weekends because I genuinely enjoy testing things, finding the catch, and turning the experience into something another person can use.
Tony Reviews Things may not have a giant lab or a corporate masthead. It does have a real person doing the work, showing the tradeoffs, and putting his name on the recommendation.
The reviewing beat
Useful things. Strange things. Things making very bold promises.
The categories move. The standard does not.
The crew
Quality control has opinions.
A small operation with unusually strong oversight.
Executive producer
Lauren
Wife, sharpest editor in the room, and final veto power over genuinely bad ideas.
Security + management
Carl & Willow
Responsible for perimeter checks, supervisory naps, and appearing whenever a package opens.
Chaotic intern
Ruby
Quality-control wildcard, cable-management adversary, and enthusiastic destroyer of calm.
Got a challenge?
Send me something worth testing.
A useful gadget, strange snack, ambitious AI tool, or product making a claim that deserves scrutiny. I want to hear about it.